Better Than I Deserve

Every day, I feel blessed to be part of this Fraternity.  I feel even more blessed that I have been given the chance to be District Deputy Grand Master for the diverse and incredibly caring group of men that make the 54th District.  I confess, however, that sometimes I forget how lucky I am.  I delivered the following talk at Plum Creek-Monroeville Lodge, my home Lodge, on Tuesday night.  They help me remember sometimes that life truly is:

Better Than I Deserve

One of the duties of the Office of District Deputy Grand Master is the presentation of 50 Year Service Emblems.  I consider it the highest honor to be able to present those pins and personally thank my Masonic elders for being part of the continuum of Freemasonry.

It is also a high honor for each of us to listen as those recipients try to condense 50 years of service to the Craft into a few sentences.  At last month’s Visit to Penn Brotherhood Lodge, one of the recipients described his membership in the following way:

“You know,” he started, “when people say to me, ‘How are you doing today,’ I used to tell them I was fine or great, but now I feel I’m finally old enough now to reply, ‘Better than I deserve.’”

Better than I deserve.

That struck a chord with me that night, and as I looked around the room, I could see that it did the same for many.  So often we become complacent about the things around us, the people around us.  We take for granted that they are there and that we have somehow earned title to them.  Society speaks of entitlements.  The television tells us what we need -  or more accurately - what we just can’t live without.

As soon as that Brother finished speaking, I hurried for my notebook and wrote down that phrase, “better than I deserve.”  The next day, I sat at the computer with the intention of writing my talk for the next night's Official Visit around that idea.  The words just weren’t there yet, so I decided to tuck that away for awhile somewhere in the back of my mind.  I resolved to spend a little time trying to figure out what it meant to be better than I deserved.

From a scientific standpoint, in order to determine if something was better than I deserved, I would first have to discover what it is that I truly did deserve.  That prospect terrified me.

We are imperfect people.  We meet as Freemasons to try and perfect ourselves, fully realizing the futility of such an effort.  We come, nonetheless, and for a time strive to reach a place where we feel worthy of some of what has been given us.

If I am honest, I could be a better son, Brother, friend, loved one, teacher, student or any of the other myriad roles I play in my life.  I could listen more and talk less.  I could love more deeply, be more understanding, more empathetic.  Less judgmental.  I think we all could.

Take King David.  He was not exactly the perfect man.  He was a warrior, and a schemer.  He murdered his friend so that he could steal his wife.  In fact, he probably broke all of the Commandments.  In spite of all of that, he was chosen and beloved by God. 

David realized that what he had was better than he deserved, so he chose to honor God by building a Temple.   The Temple was, of course, built by Solomon, his son, but it was nevertheless, David’s recognition of God’s abundant grace that was the impetus for its construction.

So what are we as the allegorical heirs to that grand edifice doing with the gift we have?  Are we doing something every day in Masonry to be deserving of what this Fraternity has to offer?  Young men now get reduced dues and initiation fees if they are enrolled in school.  Have you asked a young man to take advantage of that?  Have you volunteered in your community as a Mason?  Are you going to help at your Lodge’s open house?  Have you reached out to a Brother in need?  Have you helped someone who needed it without waiting for them to ask?  Are you an ambassador for Freemasonry in all you do?  I would suspect that precious few could answer all of those questions affirmatively.  I know I cannot.
 

Each of us is richly blessed, and whether we are each in a place in our lives to fully appreciate that or not, we need be thankful for the gifts we have been given.  We must be grateful for those who love us, and love them back as deeply as our hearts allow - never holding any of it back.  We must be thankful for our Brothers and supply their needs to the best of our abilities, and finally, we must cherish the gift that is Freemasonry by being good stewards.  Just as I thank those who came before me for making this possible for me, I hope to one day stand before a room full of Masons much younger than me and know that I did my part to keep this Fraternity vibrant, healthy and alive for those yet to come.
 

I have no idea if what I have said tonight has touched any of you.  I don’t know if you’ll leave here feeling inspired to action.  I have not a clue if any of you feel lucky to be a Mason.  What I do know, however, is that the next time someone asks me how I’m doing, I will respond with the answer. . . Better than I deserve.

Run the Whole Race

This talk was delivered tonight at my Official Visit to Valley Lodge No. 613.  Whether you are a Mason or not, there are important lessons that can be taken away.  Giving up at the end, or deciding to settle for the waiting room of mediocrity because busting down the door of excellence seems daunting, ulitmately leads to regret.  Feel free to comment.

Run the Whole Race

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

We have all heard the inspiring story about the young football player who, when his team was down by 3, with no time left on the clock, miraculously broke free from the line of scrimmage.  He had no one between him and the goal line and no chance of being caught.  The young man looked over his shoulder, saw that victory was his and took a knee at the one yard line losing the game. 

What about the heartwarming story of the runner who ran 26 miles, 284 yards of the marathon and gave up with three feet left to the finish line, or the winner of the Indy 499.9?

Who remembers those stories?  That’s right.  No one does.  No one wants to remember quitters.  No one erects statues to the near-finishers of races.   The people who earn glory, who get to bask in the glow of a life well-lived, are the ones who finish the tasks laid out before them, the ones they set out to do. 

Most of us are familiar with Brother Theodore Roosevelt’s quote.  In his Man in the Arena speech, he tells the listener that it is okay to try and fail.  He suggests that mistakes are not only acceptable, but expected, “because there is not effort without error and shortcomings.”   Nowhere does he ever suggest that it is okay to give up.

So to be clear, I’m not saying that losing a game or failing to finish a race is shameful.  I am simply here to ask you: Are you, as a Mason, making your best effort both for yourself and your Lodge?  What have you, personally, done to bring a new man to the Craft?  What have you done to see that none go away dissatisfied?  Tonight this Lodge was prepared to suspended 38 of your Brothers.  Does that make you happy?  Do you all feel that you have done your best?  Or do you think that perhaps you could have done better as a Lodge and as a Brother.

Here is what I found out today:  Brother W. (names omitted for privacy) and his two sons are having a hard time right now.  One of the boys suffered a back injury and is uninsured.  Now a 38 year member of the Lodge thought he had to choose between putting food on the table and paying for dues cards for himself and his sons.  He is a proud man and proud to be a Freemason, so much so that he asked his sons to join.  How do I know?  I called him.  I didn’t get through the first time, so I called him again because he matters.  The best part of that is, through our conversation - and because someone offered him the hand of friendship, he now knows he matters.

Brother F. is in medical isolation.  He has, in his words, “kicked cancer’s butt” twice and is currently undergoing blood transfusions for multiple myeloma.  His doctors don’t allow him to answer the phone, but he snuck a call back to me to ask not to be suspended.  With a voice trembling to fight back tears, he told me that he would never want to give up his membership in his Lodge.  With all that was going on to his body, he was worried that remitting his dues for another year would be hard on the Lodge.  He needs our prayers, Brethren, but we were willing to turn our backs on him, satisfied that one or two phone calls was the best effort we could make.

I know I usually stand before you and give you words of encouragement, and I ask you to take tonight’s talk as just that.  Please do not walk away from here thinking you were chastised, but rather that you were challenged.  If you squirmed in your seat, resolve to be better.  If you broke out in a sweat, vow to change your behavior.  Masonry is, at its core, a journey of self-improvement. 

The simple truth about Lodge sustainability is that our numbers matter.  More than that, however, Brotherhood should matter.  We should never be happy with letting a Brother walk out the door.  The loss of any one of us diminishes the whole.   This Lodge was ready to potentially turn away not only $3,800 in revenue, but men.  Brothers who are tied to us by Oaths we took to help, aid and assist.  Are we doing that regularly?

Are you, the Members, more especially those of you who are wearing the badges of leadership, doing every single thing you can to make your Lodge grow?  Do you simply what is expected, or do you do what is needed?  If you were Brother F. or Brother W. or one of the many others whose story is not completely known, how would you want your Fraternity to respond?  Be that kind of Brother.

We can do better.

Ask yourself tonight, would you rather find a way to be faintly satisfied in the dim, gray gloaming of a life half-lived or bask in the glorious meridian sun of triumph, content in the knowledge that you had given your all, run the race, done the deed and earn your place with others of whom it may be said done their all at all times?

The choice, my Brothers, is yours.